i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
