Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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