I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
