Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
