thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
