My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
