Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
