I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
