Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
