It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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