dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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