yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
