Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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