nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
