yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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