It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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