i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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