Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
