First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
