i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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