I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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