she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
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I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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