And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
organizing the empties. That sober.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
