There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
dude. I can hear the air.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
