I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
