Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
