By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
