I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
