My first STD was from a foam party
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
In America we eat man semen.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize