So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My first STD was from a foam party
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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