He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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