Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
