I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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