Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize