what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
