Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
