i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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