whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
