I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Less talking, more tequila
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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