Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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