im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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