FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
