im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
