By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
