can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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