I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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