The maid of honor just puked.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
