I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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