When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
