We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
