i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
