soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
