Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
