She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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