whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
