I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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