Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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