The best revenge is premature balding
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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