Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
