I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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