he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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