home. puking in laundry basket.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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